It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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