the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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