My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
