Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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