Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
