Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found puke in my bra..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
