Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
