wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
