Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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