there's paper in my vomit.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
