I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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