im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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