At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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