Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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