I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
