Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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