i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
