did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
