Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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