I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
