Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
