so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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