Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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