p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
