That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
