4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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