I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
