Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
