Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
high people should be assigned attendants
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
