i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
