it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
