so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
