Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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