I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
