Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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