She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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