Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
