But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she looked like the before picture.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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