Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
