Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
