Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think people are normalizing furries
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
