At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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