ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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