Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
