I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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