girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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