you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
