Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
