Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
