Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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