just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
